20. Class Reflection

I thoroughly enjoyed this class. I have always enjoyed writing, but I have never really felt like it was much of a learned skill – I thought it was more of a natural thing. However, by writing in multiple genres, I was able to learn skill such as collaboration, research, and self-evaluation.

For example, the restaurant review paper was a bit difficult for me because I did not feel total autonomy in the finish product. This helped me to learn effective communication in a team setting. It also helped me learn different writing styles as I conformed my portion of the review to flow with those of the others in my group.

Research stretched me to learn how to find and source correct information. Frequent self-evaluations caused me to think more in-depth about why I wrote the way I did. This enabled me to see some areas where I lacked and promoted me to improve them.

I also learned that writing is an art. It is a form of expression. It is a way to actually learn about yourself -- you are able to describe your feelings and then look at them and decide if that really is how you feel. It is the opposite of a knee-jerk reaction. It is real. 

I am greatly pleased by my progress in this class. Through different arenas of writing I was able to develop writing skills. I was able to improve my overall use of language, and I believe that I have become a more persuasive writer because of the activities that we participated in throughout this semester. I plan to take the lessons I learned in this class and apply them to both my creative and professional writing paths.

19. The Problem with Procrastination

Sister Steadman said something interesting in class today. She explained that it is usually the talented students that end up procrastinating things because they learn at a very young age that the amount of work it takes the other kids to do in two hours can be done easily in half an hour for them.
As I thought about that, I suppose that that is true.
I certainly don't consider myself very talented, but desperation has become a close friend to me over the years.
I seem to do my best work when my nose is held to the fire, when I only have a couple more minutes to complete the task. Why this is, I don't know, but I need to change it.
How does the Lord do things? Certainly not through procrastination. Could you imagine what the world would be like today if the Savior still hadn't come? If it was a project that Heavenly Father promised he would get to before things get really bad?
No, the Lord does things right, even "before the foundation of the world".
This is obviously not because He isn't talented, this is because He understand the power of preparation.
Being prepared brings confidence in distressing or unseen circumstances. It shows dedication and a willingness. While talent may take a student far, the truth is, in the end, hard work will outlast talent. I guess you could say that hard work is a talent.
I hope that I can end my relationship with desperation and someday obtain the godly attribute of preparedness.

18. Accounts of the First Vision

Recently I had the opportunity to learn more about the accounts of Joseph Smith's First Vision. I also had the opportunity to visit the Church's new history exhibit downtown. I learned about the four accounts that Joseph published himself or by his own authority.
Some of them share different details, and that is a concern to some church members, but the truth is this; when a surgeon is speaking in an operating room to his colleagues, he uses different language and rhetoric than he does with the family of the one being operated on in the hospital waiting room. This same basic principle applies to Joseph Smith’s recounting of his first vision. Joseph wrote or had published these four accounts with intentions of relating to four different groups of persons.
The 1832 account was written in his own hand in a short unpublished autobiography. The intent of this account is to add insight and value to the inner-persona of Joseph, as all good autobiographies are intended to. Joseph focuses on the turmoil inside of him, prompting him to desire to find a true New Testament church that would enable him to be forgiven from his sins.
The 1835 account was told by Joseph to a single person, Robert Matthews, a visitor to Kirtland, Ohio. Just as any person would adjust their speech from a group of people to just one face-to-face, Joseph changes his tone and includes details that may have acted as distraction to a larger group. He includes the detail of angels appearing in the vision, while the Lord appeared first, then followed by the Lord. Though this is a point of confusion for many, I believe that the Lord first recorded was the Father, while the second was the Son.
The 1838 account is the one that you and I are most accustomed too. This was intended to be the “official” account for the church and others, it is the account that is canonized in the Pearl of Great Price today. This account is geared to educate all walks of life, focusing on the general and need-to-know elements of the vision. It focuses on the part of the vision that applies to us all – not that Joseph received a remission of his sins, but rather that the Lord’s church was not to be found on the earth at that time.
The 1842 account was written in response to a newspaper that wanted to know what the Mormons were all about. So naturally, this account was tailored to provide the most useful information to those who were not members of the Church and unfamiliar with Latter-day Saint doctrine. It is concise and straightforward to keep the focus and enhance the clarity of the newspaper’s audience.
We change the way we talk to different groups of people just like Joseph did. He used ethos, pathos, and logos in different combinations so that he could create the most value to his immediate audience.

17. President Monson

We have all heard it recently, "President Monson sure is looking frail. Do you think this will be his last conference? Oh, it's so sad."
While I do agree that it certainly isn't pleasant to see the prophet appear to be in such a poor condition, I don't anything about it is sad.
I think it is noble. I think it is powerful. I think it is beautiful. I think it is a great lesson to us.
Here we have a man who has literally lived and taught the gospel so hard that he can barely even stand.
I remember towards the end of President Packer's life people would sometimes groan when he would speak. They would complain that he was so old and out of function that they couldn't even understand what he was saying, plus his voice was to raspy.
I remember sitting in a chapel in Lubbock, Texas as President Packer gave what would be his last conference address.
I started to cry as he bore testimony of the power of the Atonement and the strength it brings, all while he was positioned in a chair because he could no longer stand.
I someday hope to look like those men. I hope people comment on my frail appearance. I hope I have a hard time walking. Not because of life's wild physical journey, but because I shared the gospel to every one I could as much as I could.

16. The Gospel and School

I absolutely love being able to have my religion with my school. I can't remember ever being able to pray at the beginning of the class and then relate my science textbook to Nephi's broken bow. I love that. I think it helps me to better comprehend and synthesize information.
I also believe that the Holy Ghost plays a huge part in all facets of our learning, not just the spiritual.
We read in the scriptures that the Holy Ghost will bring ALL things to our remembrance. I have definitely felt that as I have gone into a test and prayed to remember the things I had previously studied.
While you don't need an institution like BYU to feel the Holy Ghost while learning, it certainly enhances it.
I love feeling comfortable sharing my views on something contrasted with the scriptures. I love being able to do rhetorical analyses on talks given by prophets of God. I love being challenged with a class about my church that I actually get a grade for.
Many people talk about Provo as this "bubble," like it's a negative thing. What on earth is so bad about being surrounded by people who are trying to live the gospel? Why does that have to be looked down upon?
People who make fun of the BYU "zoobies" or "Happy Valley" have not been able to experience it for themselves.

15. Presentation Day

The past couple days in class we have been sharing our oral presentations on a subject we learned during the semester.
People-watching is a hobby of mine, and there is no better way to learn about the way people tick than through public speaking. It is funny to watch everybody's different nervous twitches, or hear the way their voice changes.
I am definitely not immune, whenever I speak in public my voice gets about two notches deeper and I start walking around like I have a fire on the seat of my pants.
I was actually very impressed by the students who have shared the past couple of days. All of them seemed comfortable up there, and I mean all of them.
They all looked professional, their visual aids were on-point, and they all navigated the five to seven minute time allotment masterfully.
I have come to learn at BYU how hard it really is to put yourself a cut above in the professional world. There are so many incredibly bright and talented people hear -- I feel a bit like the mule that showed up to the Kentucky Derby, but, nonetheless, I am grateful for the company that it allows me to keep.
While this may seem like a determent, it has actually encouraged me to broaden my horizons and learn new talents. I have looked more into things like free-lance journalism and public-speaking opportunities.
I suppose that necessity is indeed the mother of all innovation.

14. My Future Occupation

So, I have decided what I want to do for the rest of my life. Well, I thought I did two months ago, and then I changed my mind. And I will probably change it again.

I had intentions to become a financial adviser. Then I dabbled around a bit in that and decided nay. Then I decided I wanted to be a business consultant. But then I sat next to a girl in marketing class whose husband was one. She told me about the 100-hour work weeks, literally, so I decided to cross that one off the list too. Being an entrepreneur sounded super sweet. But then I thought long and hard for about an hour and a half and I couldn’t come up with a good idea, so I canned that one. I watched a Tom Cruise film the other day called “A Few Good Men.” It was pretty sweet, so I think I want to be an attorney now.

If I could have any job, however, that would be great. I have always wanted to be an astronaut. I loved “Apollo 11”, or may it was “Apollo 13”, I can’t remember. “Martian” was stellar, in fact it was “Interstellar.”

But I also wanted to be an NBA star. “Space Jam” was the culmination of my childhood. “Hoosiers” just gets me in the feels, and “Glory Road” is a classic. “Coach Carter” also had a hand in that.

As you can see, I have a lot of aspirations. However, the attorney-astronaut-basketball major isn’t offered here at BYU, so looks like I am out of luck. Back to the drawing board -- that’s okay, I could see myself as an artist. “Charly” was a pretty good flick…. 

13. Nobody Came to Priesthood Session

This weekend I went with my fiancee and her family down to Enterprise, Utah. Enterprise is about 40 miles east of Cedar City. My fiancee's grandpa is a cattle rancher down there.
My fiancee was pretty excited to take me down there, probably just so she could make fun of me as I struggled to do anything on a farm -- I guess I am what you would call a "city-slicker."
It turned out to be a great time. I got through most of the awkward "nice-to-meet-you" moments with her extended family that lives down there. I even branded a few cows, although some of them were a little smudged.
The highlight of my weekend, however, didn't even involve my pretty little fiancee at all (don't tell her that).
Saturday evening, her brothers and I went to the local church to watch priesthood session. While Enterprise is a small town, the population is heavily LDS.
We arrived to the church building and found the broadcast set up in the relief society room. I thought it a bit strange that we were meeting in there, surely the room would fill up fast.
30 minutes later, there was only a total of 6 people in the room, including me and my fiancee's two brothers. At the finish of the meeting, there was 8.
Rather disappointed in that turn out, I almost started to believe the lie that the Church is struggling and many people are leaving it, or just don't care enough to try.
Then, as we walked through the doors of the relief society room, I heard a commotion coming from the other side of the building. I walked towards the sound and saw dozens of men, dressed in white shirts and ties, walking out of the chapel. It turns out that the relief society room was just the over flow. I was greatly touched to be reminded that the Church is growing and rolling forth.
The world tries to portray that religion is a thing of the past -- they do a good job at it too. But the truth is that there are millions across the world, filing into small meetinghouses in rural places like Enterprise, Utah, to listen to and show devotion to their faith.

12. Six Months Home

Today marks exactly six months from the day that I returned from my mission in Texas. A lot has happened since then. I started college. I got a job. I got engaged. Pretty good for a six-month period eh? My mission president taught it to me like this:
Each of us are born with a fresh, clean whiteboard. As we progress through life we write things down on our whiteboard that reflect who we are -- for example, the type of music you like to listen to. You like to take naps when you are stressed. You enjoy dating. You say that one four-letter word when you miss a stop sign. Then, after 18 or 19 years of writing on your whiteboard, you enter the mission field. And suddenly, you can't do things like nap or date or say bad little words.
Father in Heaven then appears and hands you an eraser. He tells you that it cost him an unimaginable price. He then tells you that he can make your whiteboard more beautiful than you could ever imagine. But there's a catch: you have to erase it yourself. You have to erase your past-self by yourself. And so hesitantly you start to erase. You come to find that it's rather painful, and there is that one thing at the bottom corner that you keep telling yourself you will erase next.
Finally, hopefully, after a long and hard process, your whiteboard is erased and almost as fresh and clean as it once was. Then, Father appears again, puts his arm around your shoulder, and tells you it is sufficient.
He then pulls out a marker of His own and tells you that He has got it from there. He then begins to write things like, "There are answers in the scriptures." "There is power in the priesthood." "Prophets are real." "Families are forever."
And by the end of your mission, your whiteboard is full of beautiful, eternal, and supernal truths.
And you pray to God that you never pick up an eraser again.
That is where I am at these days. I would be lying if I told you that I haven't smudged a couple things. But they are all still there. And though it is a struggle at time, I know that Father in Heaven is there to retrace MY truths when they start to wear off.

11. A Political Endorsement

This isn't going to be the kind of endorsement you are accustomed to. I am not going to mention any policies or positions. I am not even going to mention the names of the remaining candidates in this year's presidential race.
Instead, I want to talk briefly about supporting leadership. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are taught to sustain and support our church leaders. We are taught that the greatest leader, the Savior, will only work miracles through us if we let him -- if we support him and his teachings.
This is where I struggle with this year's political campaigns. Many people say that it is just a matter of supporting the least of the evils. I don't believe in that. I believe that if any president is going to succeed in that position, the only way he/she will do that is if they have the support of the American people.
So here is my dilemma. I can't support any of the candidates because I am so turned-off by their personal character. Is there not dignity in campaigning? Is there no decency? Why must we turn debate into warfare?
The amount of personal attacks I have seen from both sides of the political spectrum speak volumes. But not in the way that the candidates want it to.
A crafty, cunning, and well-worded attack on another candidate tells me nothing about that candidate. Instead, that attack is a perfect reflection of the person sending it out. I cannot support nor endorse somebody who will stoop to that level.
Now, I know, "that is the way that politics are done". Is it really though? Does it have to be?
The bottom line is, there is a good chance that this next president will still be in office when I start my own family. Everything about that terrifies me. What kind of situation will they be in? How will the character of their president affect them and their country?
I will not endorse a candidate this year, instead I choose to endorse decency. But unfortunately, she isn't running this year. Maybe in 2020.

10. Conference Review

I was greatly touched by Elder Cristofferson's talk about fathers. I really appreciated the story he told of him and his brother going around town trying to promote their dad for a city council position. Elder Cristofferson said that occasionally he and his brother would run in to someone who would tell them how honest and good their father was, and that they would be happy to vote for him. Elder Cristofferson then shared how his heart would swell with pride and appreciation for his father when he would hear comments like that.

I have had that feeling too. I love my dad. He is my best friend. As I have grown older, I have come to respect him so much more. As I approach a marriage and family of my own, I more greatly understand the responsibility and the magnitude of the calling of a father. It is certainly not easy, and certainly it will be the most important job that I ever hold. I will never be released from that calling, in fact, it will be eternal. 

As I get more mature I realize how much my father has impacted me in my life. I am him. I am so grateful that he is a honest and good man -- my heart breaks for those who have not had the opportunity to be raised by somebody like him.

I am so grateful for fathers and for prophets and apostles like Elder Cristofferson who are there to guide us on the path as we strive to become better fathers, and in turn, better sons. 

9. Intramural Basketball

Oh boy. What an experience. This has to be the first time in history that anybody was ever told to shave before a basketball game.
Some of my old mission-buddies convinced me to play on their intramural basketball team. I wasn't very excited about it; I am a "has-been" and I really don't want to hurt myself playing with a bunch of other "has-beens", but I wanted to spend some time with them and the commitment seemed pretty small, so I obliged.
I'm not going to lie, it was pretty bizarre. There were wives dropping of their husbands and little kids in the stand watching daddy.
I was just trying my best to stretch-out so I wouldn't hurt myself. That would be pretty embarrassing -- having to tell people that I was on crutches because of intramural hoops. I decided that if that ever did happen, a lie would totally be worth it. I got attacked by a Grizzly Bear, that's what I would say.
Pretty soon it was time to start the game. The ball was tipped, and suddenly I was back in high school again.
There was smack talk, there was competitive fire. I was mostly just observing; I felt pretty silly yelling at a referee that was my same age.
However, as the game wore on, I got a little bit more comfortable and even turned up my competitive edge a bit. Things were going well and we were winning. But, then, I opened my mouth a little too much and got myself a technical foul for calling a guy on the opposing team a little-girl. That was dumb for lots of reasons. First off, he actually had a little-girl sitting on the sideline, so by scientific reasoning I could have easily concluded that he really wasn't a little-girl. Also, my girlfriend was there (first problem) and I am sure that a heated confrontation during intramural basketball was not on her "dream qualities" list that all girls make when they are Laurels.
That was kind of how the season went, just a bit weird. But at the end of the day, I was glad I did it. I got to spend some time with some mission buddies, get some good cardio, and I even had a better excuse to take showers in the evenings rather than out of just plain boredom.

8. Third and Conclusion: “Unto Adam also and to his wife did the Lord God make coats of skins, and clothed them” (Genesis 3:21).

We also learn in the temple that after becoming aware of their lack of clothing and protection, Adam and Eve receive direction from Lucifer to sew together fig leaves as aprons. While this may seem like a solution to the problem, Lucifer has actually just pulled off a set-up.

Once kicked out into the lone and dreary world, Adam and Eve will face physical hardship. Certainly the weather won’t be as nice as it was in Eden. Soon winter will come, and those fig leaves will shrivel up and wither away. There will be no protection against the cold, nor the rugged terrain ahead of Adam and Eve. The aprons are essentially useless, and soon the seemingly concise solution will dissolve, leaving Adam and Eve naked again.

However, in His infinite mercy, the Lord makes “coats of skins” for Adam and Eve to protect them against the pitfalls of this telestial sphere. These coats are durable. They are warm. They will survive the winter and keep Adam and Eve safe. But they take much more effort, time, and diligence to make than a simply fig-leaf apron.

So it is with marriage. Conflicts will arise and decisions will have to be made. There will always be the quick and easy way, the fig-leaf solution. They are attractive because they require the least amount of effort and seem to work immediately. It may be the decision to go into more debt to pay off other debts. It may be to tell a white-lie to your spouse in order to “save her feelings”. But the truth is, just like fig leaves, these so-called solutions will die. Make no mistake about it, they will fail. Only a coat of skins solution will be permanent. These solutions do come at a price, they may even be painful. Perhaps you must take on more hours at work and spend less online. Maybe you need to confess something to your spouse and possibly even a priesthood leader. But the concrete truth is that these solutions – the Lord’s solutions – do work. They are fundamental to our personal lives and foundational in our successful marriages. “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ”. (The Family: A Proclamation)

Yes, these coat of skin solutions are hard, in fact, that is where we get the misunderstood mantra that “marriage is hard”. Adam and Eve willingly chose to forgo a paradisiacal setting to live as husband and wife and father and mother in a darker, drearier, and harder place. Certainly that wasn’t easy. I’m sure that it wasn’t 100% enjoyable. But they understood that trust, vulnerability, togetherness, and the Lord’s way transcend happiness into something much more. They understood the formula to eternal joy.

Let’s not treat marriage like a dull social obligation, or even just as a “good thing to do”. Let’s refer to marriage as the Savior describes its espousing gospel; “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give your rest.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me: for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

As we follow the examples of our first parents, we too will find rest, ease, and a lightened burden in the greatest of eternal relationships as we seal ourselves to the Savior along the way.  

7. Second: “Now the serpent…said unto the woman” (Genesis 3:1).

It has become abundantly clear that the adversary is attacking the family in every way possible. While the saying “two heads are better than one” is not canonized, the scripture stating that “where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them”, is (Matthew 18:20).

There is power in the word sealing. It means bonded, forged, sown, and locked together. With that sealing comes great power, and as already mentioned, the very presence of God. As we learn in the temple, the moment that Eve was tempted and subsequently beguiled by Satan was the only moment that Eve was found alone – without her husband. We can be substantially weaker when faced with adversity without a companion.

This principle is shown explicitly in church organization. Missionary companionships have strict rules requiring them to stay together at all times – no matter the circumstance. Bishops have two counselors to help them with the undertaking of ward stewardship. When the general authorities of the Church travel around the world on assignment, they always bring a companion. This is not for social promotion, this is for safety and strength.

So it is with marriage. Decisions made by one spouse without the other’s consent or willingness distorts agency and yanks at the very seams of unity. Unanimous decision by both spouses is key to obtaining the Holy Ghost and also acts as a catalyst for action and accountability.

Temptations of the devil are also more easily avoided with the strength of another. Satan will never have an eternal companion, and therefore does not know how to deal with a righteous couple acting in accordance with the safeguards of the gospel.

The burden of family tragedies, career struggles, and personal disappointments are also made lighter by the companionship of a spouse. Instead of straining beneath the load alone, both you and your spouse are made stronger as you push past the threshold of personal strength into new compatible and correlated capacities.

6. First: “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25).

While this verse of scripture describes the couple’s innocent state before the fall, it teaches an important principle.

We live in a world where we are rarely, if ever, truly comfortable. We put on a disguise to the world around us, typically through the tone of our social media outlets. We may try to conform to the secular standards of popularity and well-being, or try to suggest a life that we really don’t live. Such attitudes and actions can lead to unmanageable stress, heightened insecurities, and suffocating self-consciousness.

Marriage is meant to be a refuge, a safe-zone where pressures and pretenses melt away. It is the bond in which spiritual, emotional, and mental “nakedness” is promoted. Faults and imperfections are meant to be embraced in a Christ-centered relationship, not looked down upon. We are to be completely comfortable with one another, making each other feel safe in times of vulnerability. Being “naked” in a relationship promotes communication and trust. A special and empowering bond is formed when you are supported by someone who knows you as you really are – beauties and imperfections intertwined.

Hiding your “nakedness” from your spouse narrows the flow of communication and blockades your attempts to become one. It will negatively affect self-awareness and directly distance yourself from your spouse and from God. Likewise, being critical and unforgiving of your spouse’s faults is a reflection of your own dedication to celestial marriage. Always remember the Savior’s soul-saving counsel to “Judge not, that ye be not judged” (Matthew 7:5). 

5. Three Lessons on Love from Adam and Eve

I recently got engaged, and with that, have gotten a lot more sensitive to discussions and publications on marriage. As I have done some studying I have come across a few unexpected trends.
While most people will tell you that I have no business writing anything about marriage because I have never been married, I disagree with that.
Sure, there are definitely things that I am oblivious too, but I am lucky enough to have been a witness to many successful and some not-so successful marriages.
So with that knowledge, I decided to write about the relation between marriage described by man and marriage described by its first participants -- Adam and Eve.
“Marriage is hard.” We have all heard that before – most of us have said it. As common as that phrase may be, it seems to stick out as an oddity in our Latter-day Saint culture. Isn’t marriage the highest and holiest partnership a couple can achieve in this life? Isn’t it all about being so in love and so happy with someone that all other unfair and monotonous things just fade away? Isn’t it what prophets of God have repeatedly told us “can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive”? (“Oneness in Marriage”, Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign, March 1977)

Then why do we so casually and loosely assert that marriage is such a struggle? Why do we often joke about marriage as a deadweight – some sort of ball-and-chain that hinders with personal joy and freedom? If marriage is so difficult, does that mean that the alternative is easier?

Well, the truth is, creating a successful marriage is hard. However, the alternative of facing the buffetings of Satan in this world alone can be much harder. The “marriage is hard” response is a lousy and severely incomplete assertion. Marriage is not defined by the two imperfect people tied within it – rather, it is defined by the Christ-like attributes that it endears and fosters.

Marriage is about becoming “one flesh”, not just with your spouse, but also with the Godhead.

“And now Father, I pray unto thee for them, and also for all those who shall believe on their words, that they may believe in me, that I may be in them as thou, Father, art in me, that we may be one” (3 Nephi 19:23).

The Savior teaches that any successful relationship must be triangulated, with deity at the top and us and our spouses on complementary sides. This can seem as a daunting challenge for us as we already struggle to be one with our mortal spouse, let alone the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

Only one couple in the history of the world has ever actually lived in the physical presence of the Godhead, and believe it or not, their marriage had a couple rough patches too. Adam and Eve were not perfect, they certainly had some disappointment and shortcoming. They struggled with being one at times, but theirs is the perfect story of reuniting and reconnecting the divine love triangle between themselves and God. Though kicked-out of a seemingly ideal setting in the Garden of Eden, they learned that the alternative to marriage would be a much darker and drearier situation than what they would face together.

We would do well to learn the following three things from their marriage:

4. Research Paper Reflection

Throughout this semester we have been writing papers and essays in different genres of writing. This past month we focused on the genre of research -- studying a topic and then presenting our findings in a written presentation.
We were asked to research a family story and write about it. This was very difficult for me. My family is not necessarily multi-generational as far as church activity is concerned, so it was a bit tricky for me to find and access a relevant and worthwhile story, simply because of the lack of family history records which promote the passing-down of family stories.
However, I still did enjoy my research about my grandmother and some of her health issues growing up. It added insight on who she is and how she became that way. It definitely strengthened my relationship and appreciation for her.
While research is not my favorite genre of writing, I enjoyed the challenge of putting my "fingerprint", or voice, on this paper. It was eye-opening to me on many fronts, and I am glad that I had the opportunity to do it.

3. Underage and Overwhelmed

You know, this generation sure does get a bad rap. We are lazy, we are rude, we feel entitled. Now I am not saying that those claims are flat-out false -- they're not. There certainly are some of my peers who don't conduct themselves in the American blue-collar manor. However, it has been my experience, at least here at school, that this generation may seem weak because of the amount of pressures that we face.
We have it coming to us from all angles right now. We have been preached to our whole lives that we won't amount to anything in this life without a college education, so we take out thousands of dollars in loans and study late into the night every week. We stress over job-placement, the economy, and the future of this country. We have a social life that we are supposed to keep up with too, and that life's schedule sure doesn't like to co-exist with the scholastic life's schedule. Then we are supposed to be dating and networking and building quality friendships, all while trying to please our neighbor by being ourselves, but still being politically correct. Then, if faith is a part of your life, you also have those responsibilities and principles to adhere to. Oh yeah, and we are supposed to have at least a part-time job so we can not only learn "work ethic", but also to be able to afford lifestyles that can, at least in the smallest degree, help us keep up with the Kardashians.
Excuse me if I sound a little over-privileged, but cut us some slack. Most of us are trying. I don't want to be handed any sort of free ride, but I do want to get some support. So next time you think to yourself that this new generation is taking the world down to the cellar, give us a hand and help us out.

2. Personal Narrative - Returning with Reservations

“Close the door behind you, Son.” As I gently shut the door my mind began to race. Was this really happening? Was this a dream? A nightmare? “Elder Backus, the Lord is pleased with the service you have rendered the past two years of your life.” My mission president continued, “But this is not the finale. This is simply the end of act 1. Now let’s talk about what you learned from it and discuss how you will apply it.” We then attempted to pack a lifetime of teachings and lessons in a thirty-minute conversation. I couldn’t believe it. The final exit-interview with the mission president was a milestone in every missionary’s life, one that was supposed to signify growth, accomplishment, and bring some degree of closure. But as I walked out of that office after the interview I felt weaker than I ever had before. My whole world was about to be crushed. I was about to leave the setting that I had grown to adore. It had become my whole universe, my own Garden of Eden. I was required to leave my most beloved friends behind and head home to a world that I had learned was anything but paradisiacal. As I walked out of my mission president’s house and onto the warm and dusty street I began to cry. My life was about to change again, and I was under the impression that it would be nothing more than constant struggle and temptation.

                My companion and I drove in silence back to our apartment. As I was contemplating how I would spend the last two days of my mission we passed the Lubbock Texas Temple. The sun was beginning to set, and the red and yellow skies accented the gold trim of the temple beautifully. It was just another thing that I had grown to love that I wasn’t going to be able to see again. As I again began to bury myself in self-pity, I saw a young family taking a picture on the temple grounds. The mood they conveyed was much different than what I was feeling; they were happy. The kids were fooling around as mom tried to wrangle them up. Dad just stood there, apparently enjoying the circus. But even amidst the chaos, they were all smiling. How could that be? They didn’t get to have a routine schedule. They didn’t get to study the gospel for three hours straight each morning. They didn’t get to be set apart from all worldly distractions around them. So why were they so happy?

                I pondered again and again on that question. Was my miserable outlook on the future unwarranted? Or was that family just faking it? As I began to think deeper, I was forced to remember. I remembered everything. I remembered how low people were when we met them and how high they became as we taught them. I remembered the smile on one man’s face as he progressively overcame his 50-year alcohol addiction. I remembered the smile on another man’s face as he blessed the Sacrament for the first time. I remembered the tears of joy one woman shed as she was married to her husband and then baptized and confirmed a member of the Church. I remembered how hard the beginning of my mission was. I remembered all the times I couldn’t think of the right Spanish word, or when I would get tripped up on my words when speaking with Baptist ministers. And then I remembered the joy I felt as I studied hard and got a grasp on the language and on the scriptures. I remembered the peace that came to my soul as I reasoned and worked with the Savior and overcame personal weaknesses. And finally it hit me. Happiness wasn’t found in a neck tie nor a pair of slacks. It wasn’t found on a bicycle seat or even a black plastic nametag. It wasn’t about being the gospel. It was all about living it. That happiness that I saw in that young family was apparent because they did have struggles. They did have temptations. But they had the gospel. They had values and virtues that they clung to and they had each other as footholds. The joy came in the journey, not the current destination. I then truly learned, as Father Lehi taught, that not only Adam, but all of us, must fall that we might have joy.

                As I built upon my new perspective, the tone of my final days of missionary service changed. They were no longer a dismal parade on the way to my own funeral, they were rather a celebration of gratitude and a gateway to the future. I visited with many of the people I taught and reminisced on the hard times of the past, the good times of the present, and the great days of the future. We laughed and cried and then cried and laughed. I talked to every stranger I could about the hope that the message of the restoration brings and how it could guide them in this confused world. I promised them that the teachings of the Savior would strengthen the relationship between husband and wife and parents and children. I had done all that before, but now I really knew it to be true, not because I had experienced it in the first-person, but because I had seen it. I had seen it over and over again but hadn’t realized it until I saw it outside the temple that day. Faith and happiness is always pointed towards the future.

                Quickly the fateful day had arrived. After the best 48 hours of my mission, it was time to go home. I wish I could say that I was all smiles and that it was the most exciting, thrilling day of my life. It wasn’t. I still cried bitterly. I still was sad that I had to leave a place and a people that I loved so much. I was still sad that I wouldn’t be referred to as “Elder” anymore. But as I boarded the plane and began to ascend in the air, I didn’t look down. Not once. I looked forward. And as I landed at SLC International Airport, I grabbed my bag and didn’t look behind me. Not once. As I began to make my way through the airport I said the most fervent prayer I could muster, thanking Heavenly Father for his bounteous blessings. He hurt me. He healed me. He cleansed me. He changed me. He hurt me again. And he healed me again, time after time, and after two full years it had been declared sufficient.

I continued walking, getting closer to the designated point where I was to see my family. Almost to my surprise, tears began to trickle down my face. But these weren’t bitter tears. These weren’t the same ones I cried as I walked out of my mission president’s home that day. These were warm tears, tears of gratitude. They were tears of joy. As I became more emotional I realized that I had finally made it to the threshold of the airport security. My family was just on the other side of the wall of glass before me. I wiped my tears, took a deep breath, and put one foot in front of the other.

The first one I saw was my mother. I ran up to hear, kissed her on the cheek, and told her that I loved her. I then repeated the same process with my other family members as we all embraced, laughed, and cried together for the first time in a long time. It was an unforgettable moment, one that paradoxically symbolized an ending but also a beginning. It was a moment I wouldn’t trade for the whole world, even the west-Texas area.

                Back home there is a black and white photograph of my family and me that day at the airport. It is my favorite picture. Not because we look good, in fact we all look like a mess with teary faces and messy hair from too many hugs. It is a bit off-centered, and the lighting isn’t very flattering on any of us. I suppose if a stranger was to walk in my home they might wonder why such a frazzled-looking family photo is on center display. That is the problem with still photographs. The story of its significance can sometimes be a bit difficult to understand. But to me, it’s pretty obvious—we’re all smiling.

1. Stories that Bind Us

I take pride in my last name. It is the name that I have always had and always will. I didn't choose it, and I'm not exactly sure if it choose me, but nevertheless, here we are. We are bound with blood and linked by stories, stories of the others who carried my name before me. Those stories build a heritage. They instill pride. They evoke strong emotions. No matter what I do, I can't ever forget or shy away from who and what my ancestors were. Their stories of struggle humble me. Their stories of triumph empower me. Their stories of pain hurt me. Their stories of joy enlighten me. Whenever life comes beating at the door while I have gone fishing or opportunity doesn't seem to want to see me anymore, I remember them. I remember their experiences and their lessons. I remember their stories that bind me with them and consequently with a sense of hope and purpose, a catalyst with enough power to propel me to my feet and push me through a traffic jam or two. Knowing about them helps me to get to know myself, and more importantly, the self that I can become.